Last entry

Today, the coauthor of the book, "He's just not that into you" was on Oprah. I watched it, hoping I would get some new insights into men, but it was kind of stupid. It was just one long hour of women asking obvious questions about their relationships with one obvious answer: "He's just not that into you." But I really shouldn't judge. My relationship with Robert was just me making excuses for the fact that he was never that into me. I even read the book a couple months into our relationship and I still made excuses. I don't know if I've learned my lesson or not. I haven't heard from John in a week. Overnight shifts or not, I know what that means. You don't even have to say it. I don't know what happened since I thought we had a great second date, but whatever. If he never calls me again, it's his loss really. I'm not going to waste my energy thinking about the reason. We only went out twice, so it's no big deal. I liked him and I thought there was potential there, but he must have felt differently.

Okay, so I think this is going to be my last blog entry for a while. I'm not in a very good place right now. There is a lot of stuff that I am dealing with and I have slipped into a major depression. I'm a psych major, so I know what it looks like. I have no energy to exercise or anything. I feel like I'm going through the motions, like I'm doing everything underwater or something. I can barely find the energy to shower. I don't know what I'm going to do when school starts. I'm so tired all the time and I find myself crying at odd moments throughout the day. I feel very beaten right now. Yeah, that's a good word for the way I feel. . . beaten. The latest news combined with everything else that has happened lately has just left me feeling. . . not so great. I don't really feel up to doing a blog entry at this time. So if you want to know what I'm up to or how I'm doing, you should probably go old school and e-mail me or call me or something. I know. Craziness. But I don't feel like talking about how sad I am and I'm sure no one really wants to hear it.

Hollywood Typecasting

I recently read an excellent book called, "In her Shoes." It's about two sisters, one is overweight and one is very thin and beautiful. To make a long story short, they are actually jealous of each other, they end up living with each other for a short period, get into a huge fight, and then the beautiful one finds this long-lost grandmother that they never knew existed and goes to live with her.

What's my point? Last time I went to the movies, I was very excited to see that they were making a movie out of this book. My excitement lasted about five minutes. The beautiful sister is played by Cameron Diaz and the "ugly" one is played by Toni Collette. Is she overweight? No. Couldn't they have at least put a fat suit on her to stay true to the story? Couldn't they have gotten an overweight actress? (I know. . . that's an oxymoron.) Or maybe Toni Collette just refused to gain 20 or 30 pounds for the role like Renee Zellweger did for Bridget Jones's Diary. So she's not overweight like the main character in the book. Can you take a guess as to why she is jealous of Cameron Diaz? Even though I've only seen the trailer, I can hazard a guess. Because Toni Collette has brown hair, glasses, and a ponytail.

Oh my God! How awful for her! Can you imagine having to go through life as a brunette with glasses? And how dare she put her hair up? I have seen that same storyline in about a dozen movies. Apparently, brunettes can not be attractive and heaven forbid brunettes with glasses be good looking. And they are always jealous of the stupid, shallow, blonde chick who doesn't wear glasses. Oy. Please spare me. I am brunette and I wear glasses and I happen to find myself pretty damn attractive (I'm sorry if that sounded arrogant). And while I am no Cameron Diaz, I know that there are men who have found me attractive as well (unless they're just faking it). So I'm just saying that I hate Hollywood and their stupid stereotypes.

I'll probably still see the movie because I am interested to see just how much they stick to the book or how much they screw it up. But speaking as someone who was once overweight and as a brunette with glasses, I'm probably going to appreciate the book a lot more.

In a haze

I'm walking around in kind of a haze today. I'm not exactly sure why. I do know that my throat is extremely sore. It doesn't really hurt to talk, but it hurts to swallow. I hope I'm not coming down with something. A sore throat is the last thing that a person in my profession needs. But this is the second day that it's been hurting. I was actually thinking that it might be a sign of a misdiagnosis by the doctor and a sign that I have something else. But then I just labeled that for what it was: a classic case of denial. That's kind of what I'm in right now.

I haven't talked to John in several days. I'm trying not to let that get to me since we've only had two dates so he really doesn't owe me anything. And I know he's been working these overnight shifts, which must be a killer. He had told me that we wouldn't be able to see each other during the week that he's working that shift or have three hour conversations, but I didn't realize that we wouldn't speak at all. I did e-mail him yesterday and asked him how the overnight shifts were going and blah, blah, blah. It was short and sweet. He e-mailed me back and said that he can't really have an intelligent conversation during the day and blah, blah. He didn't say much. And he said that he would talk to me sometime soon. I don't know what that means, but I'm just going to do my thing. I have a lot to do this week anyway, what with registering for this Spanish class, working, and getting ready for this garage sale that I'm participating in on Saturday.

I'm not sure if John is seeing anyone else. He said he wasn't last time I asked him, but I think he might be looking now. Of course he doesn't owe me anything since we've only been on two dates. I'm just going to take things slow with him and see where it goes. Maybe it's too early, but I don't really want to see anyone else. I didn't really feel a connection with any of the other guys that I went out with, so am I supposed to go out with them again just because John may be seeing other girls? Besides, starting in September my schedule is going to be mad busy with work, class, and volunteering. I'm not going to have the time to have a whole rotation of guys. I don't want that anyway. Not anymore.

My life has been so complicated recently, but I do hope things work out with John. I'm just afraid to get my hopes up. If he does actually contact me for a third date and if things continue moving forward, I'm just afraid something's going to screw it up. I really wish I knew what to do.

I love second dates

Well, I had another great 7 1/2 hour date with John yesterday. We met around 3:15 at Botanical Gardens. It was very hot out and we kept joking about whose bright idea it was to spend time outdoors (it was his). We just held hands and walked around looking at the different flowers. It was very nice. We hung out there for over an hour and then we got really hot, so we were pretty much over the whole outdoors thing. We weren't ready to go to dinner yet and we just wanted to go somewhere with air conditioning. I actually invited him back to my place. I know what you're thinking, but really I knew nothing would happen. At least, nothing that would involve our clothes coming off. It's still too soon for that.

We went back to my place and hung out there for several hours just talking and watching TV. Okay. . . there was some kissing involved. But whatever. In the past, I've sometimes said that I wished you could just skip to the 10th date or something with someone to skip all the nerves and anxiety and everything. But I don't know what I was thinking. I think this is kind of the best part. . . as long as the guy isn't acting like a jerk. And John totally isn't. I think it's great when it's all new and exciting and you don't know everything about each other yet. . . or anything at all really. Even the butterflies are great.

So we hung out for a while and then went to eat dinner at the Mexican restaurant that I love. I swear, I have eaten Mexican way too many times this week. We were talking about his schedule over the next week and the fact that he will be working the overnight shift (10 pm to 8 am) for the next week, so we won't be able to see each other. I totally understand. He said that he will probably come to Athens again after that because he'll have some time off. Of course he also has a friend who may be coming to town so he'll spend a little time with her. But he did say that I would definitely know whether he was coming or going. I'm sure we'll spend a little time together. After dinner, we had to part ways to that he could go work his first overnight shift.

Last night, I spoke to Cindy. She kept sending me text messages during my date, telling me stuff and asking what I was doing. I didn't really respond for the most part since I was with John. The only response I sent was to tell her that I was on a date and that I had to some news to tell her. She called me last night and I told her my big news. She was very supportive of course. Her advice was to tell my friends and to let them be there for me, but for god's sake not to tell my family. I think I've already figured that one out. I have no idea what they would say. I feel kind of guilty not telling them since this is something that is going to effect me for a while. . . a long while. I guess I'll probably tell the rest of my friends a little bit later. I know I'm being a little bit vague right now, but I don't really think it's blog appropriate and I'm still in a little bit of denial anyway.

Anyway, today I must keep myself busy by working and I still have to enroll in the Spanish class that I'll be taking soon. Can't wait.

I'm a busy, busy little bee

This has been a very busy few days, but very nice. Actually. . . . a little more than nice. I'm trying to remember stuff that has happened over the past few days. Of course, I have a very good memory when it comes to the good stuff.

On Monday, I did work and stuff and John (do I really need to tell you who he is again?) had said that he would call me to set up a date for Tuesday. He got online that night and I was beginning to think he wouldn't call me. We chatted online for a while and he said he had to go and that he would definitely still call me. He called me at 11:00 and I have never had such a great phone conversation with someone that I've never even met. . . or spoken to before. We didn't get off the phone until 4:45 in the morning! We didn't have any awkward pauses in our conversation (obviously) and he was just as funny over the phone. We talked about everything. And one minute our conversation would be completely silly and bantering back and forth and then the next minute, we would be having a philosophical discussion about whatever. We have so much in common it's crazy. So we had this six hour conversation and decided to meet for dinner on Tuesday. We did discuss the possibility of there being no chemistry between us. I mean, just because we have a lot in common and can carry on a conversation for nearly six hours doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean there are going to be any sparks between us, which would be disappointing. Anyway, he asked when he could call me on Tuesday. That actually surprised me. We had already made the plans and I just expected to not talk to him again until then. But I wasn't complaining. I enjoyed talking to him. I told him when I was taking a break from my work the next day and he said he would call me.

On Tuesday, I slept late since I didn't go to bed till 5:00 in the morning. When I woke up, I worked until my break at 2:00 (which is when I told John he could call me). At 5 minutes after 2, he called. We actually talked for over an hour. You would think we would have gotten sick of each other by now. I had to end the call go to back to work and finish getting ready for our date. Even though I was excited, I was nervous. This is the first guy in a while that I've felt a connection with. John had suggested this restaurant in Athens, Rafferty's. I arrived there just a few minutes before 7 and John arrived late. Not by much though (just 6 minutes). He didn't really look like his picture (he did warn me that it was an old picture), but I still thought he was very attractive. Dinner was great and conversation flowed very well. We joked and laughed and there was some more getting to know each other. He also joked about my 20 or 30 men that I supposedly have in my pocket. I had told him that I had another date on Wednesday. It wasn't really on purpose. It just kind of happened. But he did tell me that apparently I didn't have any competition. Anyway, we stayed at the restaurant talking until 9:30 and we weren't ready to go home. So we went to Barnes and Noble and hung out there talking until they closed at 11:00. Then, we STILL weren't ready to go home, so we went to this all night coffee and lounge type place with couches and we just sat on a couch and talked until 2:30 in the morning. I have never had a date last for 7 1/2 hours before. . . . well at least not one that didn't involve hanky panky. It was nice. The entire date was fabulous and just great. He was even finishing some of my sentences for me. Craziness. I definitely felt sparks. I was attracted to him. I'm pretty sure he was attracted to me. There was a little flirting going on. At the end of the date, he was already making plans to see me again. Woo-hoo! He was going back to Atlanta Thursday night. That's actually where he lives and works, but he had 4 days off so he was spending them in Athens with his parents. He's heading back Thursday night because he has to work the overnight shift. But he said that he definitely wanted to see me again before he left. He said that he would call me on Wednesday to make plans. He gave me a really nice hug before he left. I kind of wished for a kiss, but then again the anticipation of the first kiss is the best part.

Wednesday, I got very little sleep because I had to wake up bright and early for a doctor's appointment. Seth went with me. The doctor's appointment didn't really go so well. Let's just say that I got some not so good news. I'm still in a little bit of shock over it. I'll live though, so that's something. Anyway, after the appointment I hung out with Seth for a little while and we caught up on our respective dates. Apparently, he just had a fabulous date with a guy named John as well. How weird is that? After I left him, I went home and took a nap. I was exhausted and needed a little shut-eye for my date. I was supposed to meet Rajiv at this cool Middle Eastern restaurant in Atlanta that had belly dancing. Rajiv was very nice and the restaurant was cool too. The food was really good and the belly dancing was entertaining. The woman was pretty and made me think that maybe I should learn belly dancing. I do have a belly dancing workout DVD. Anyway, I actually had to cut the date a little short, which I felt bad about. But the lack of sleep over the last few days was getting to me and I was starting to feel light-headed. I felt like a migraine was coming on, so I had to head out.

On the way home, I got caught in a major downpour of rain. It was crazy. I got home and I was a little worried that John hadn't called me yet. He did seem like he was really into me, so what was going on? I went to sleep and woke up around midnight. Still nothing. I figured that he was still up, so I did the unthinkable and I actually called him. He had told me in our original phone conversation that he liked aggressive women and he didn't mind being chased. Besides, I was hardly chasing. I just left him a voice mail on his cell phone and asked if we were still on for Thursday. Then a few minutes later, who should appear online? I didn't IM him; I just let him approach me and he did. We chatted for a few minutes and he asked what my plans were for Thursday. Somehow, I mentioned that since he hadn't called me I wasn't sure if he had changed his mind. He apologized for not calling and said that he was just out most of the day. It was irritating, but I forgave it. I know what the author of the book, "He's just not that into you" would say, but I'm not listening to that. I'm just going to do my thing and see what happens. He did ask how the date went and I told him. He said that if there's not going to be a second date, that he's not very sorry. He did say that he had a great time on Tuesday. So we decided that we would maybe eat and go to the Botanical Gardens in Athens today. He said that he would contact me today and we would decide on a time.

So today we have chatted and we're going to meet soon for our second date. I'm a little nervous and I'm not sure why. I just hope I can hold his interest long enough for a third. I think I'm going to close the match on Brandon, the stock analyst. First of all, he hasn't even contacted me since he told me that he had a great time on our date. If he was really into me, I think he would e-mail me or something. But regardless of that, I didn't feel it with him and my life actually just got a lot more complicated. So complicated that I don't have time to keep dating a guy I'm not really into to see if anything develops. I just don't think that's very fair. Ordinarily, I would give it at least three dates, but I don't think I'm going to do that with this one. If things don't work out with John, I might just take a break from dating. There is a reason, but I really don't feel comfortable posting it in my blog. Wow that's a first, isn't it? I do hope things work out with John though. I'm trying not to get too attached because we have had only one date (soon to be two), but this is just the first guy that I've felt this much of a connection with in a long time. I never even felt this way with Robert in the beginning. I guess we'll see how it goes. I'm just taking it one date at a time.

Lazy weekend

Yesterday was a very lazy day as I did not feel like doing anything. I was still recovering from my sunburn and I think it gave me a fever or something. All day long, I felt like I was coming down with the flu or something. I felt very achy and listless. I did work though. I took nearly thirty calls. The callers were actually getting on my nerves. I got several guys that were asking a lot of personal questions, which I don't like. I also got quite a few calls from guys that were under 18. I swear, I can spot them a mile away. Even when they have a mature sounding voice, there is just something in the quality of the voice that just compels me to ask when their birthday is. I was getting way tired of the under 18 calls. We have to hang up right away with those. I really hate it when the guys ask me what my fantasies are. I don't like discussing myself in any way. It makes it too real.

Anyway, I didn't really feel like being around people yesaterday. Rajiv called while I was in the shower. He wanted to give me his new telephone number and asked me to call him because he wanted to go out later this week. I hadn't talked to him in a while really, so I wasn't sure he wanted to. But I'm glad he called. I never really called him back though just because I felt so out of it yesterday. I just didn't feel like being around people.

Brandon didn't call me until midnight last night, which annoyed me. We talked for a while and his big excuse for not calling me all day was that he was working till 8:30 at night and then he decided at the last minute to go play pool with his friends. We did talk for a while and he seemed like a nice guy. He was funny. We made plans to meet today. He decided that he wanted to come down here to my place.

Today, I slept in a little and then took a nice cool shower. My sunburn felt a little better today, except for certain places that were more red than others. I worked a little and cleaned up since Brandon was coming over. When Brandon got here, we decided to go to the Mexican restaurant that Seth and I always eat at. We didn't have any awkward pauses in conversation or anything. We talked and laughed and he seemed like a nice guy. Then we came back to my placeand played a game of Scrabble. I won. He didn't really challenge me that much, which I found disappointing. After that, Brandon left because it was 10:30 and he still had an hour's drive back home. Brandon was nice and funny and we had a good time, but I'm just not sure there were any real sparks. There just wasn't any chemisty, I don't think. Plus. . . . he voted for Bush in the last election. Of course, he's pro-choice and pro-gay rights, but he's still a "moderate Republican," as he calls it. Oy.

After he left, I started chatting online with John, this guy that lives in Atlanta. We've been chatting for several days now and we seem to have so much in common, it's scary. But I've already said all this. We chatted for about three hours online and it was great. We have the greatest conversations about nothing and actually, they can turn from mundane to serious in a second. He's going to be in Athens for a few days this week visiting friends and family, so he asked me if I wanted to meet. Of course I said yes. I think we're going to meet on Tuesday and he's supposed to call me tomorrow night. I'm looking forward to that. It'll be fun.

Now I'm really, really tired and have a busy week ahead of me apparently.

I am so burnt

I went to my grandmother's today and we hung out by my uncle's pool. We were only out there for two and a half hours and it was so incredibly hot. Now, I am really red. I am going to be in pain for a few days. My fault for not wearing sunscreen. I wanted more color. I just didn't think that I would get so much color in only a couple of hours.

My grandmother kind of got on my nerves a little because she was complaining about her knee. She has this problem with her knee. I forget what the specifics are, but she has had it for months and months. The doctors have told her that a simple surgery will fix the problem. Does she have it? No. Instead, she makes excuses about why she can't have it. First, she said that she would have the surgery when she got back from her recent vacation. Now, she's saying that she isn't having it until the summer is over. Next, I'm sure she will say that she isn't having it until her next trip in January. Meanwhile, she complains that it hurts to get up and down and her knee does hurt sometimes. I told her that I'm not going to have sympathy for her anymore because she can easily fix the problem, but she chooses not to. I think she likes being a martyr or something. Maybe she likes the attention. Whatever. It makes me mad because there are people in this family who have things that are wrong with them and they can't be fixed. And she has the ability to have her problem fixed.

I've been experiencing problems with my hands lately. I don't know what that means. . . Actually, yes I do. I don't like it either. I don't really mention it to my family because there's no point. It's not like they can do anything about it. I wish there was a surgery to correct my problem.

Well, I have many dates lined up. Brandon, the stock analyst, kind of made me a little angry though. He called me yesterday and said that he would call or e-mail me today to set up a date for this weekend. Well, he never e-mailed me and he didn't call me until 11:30! I couldn't answer the phone because I was on the phone with another guy. We won't be able to speak until tomorrow. So we'll be speaking on Saturday and making plans for the same day. It seems like he wants to wait till the last minute to make a date. Should I really do that?

I spoke on the phone tonight with a guy I met on match.com. We spoke for an hour. He seems nice. I can't really tell if he wants just sex or not. He's telling me that he doesn't. He asked me to spend an entire weekend with him next weekend. I told him I would think about it, so we'll see. He seems safe enough.

There is this other guy I met on match.com. We've been chatting through AOL Instant Messenger. We have so much in common. He graduated from Argosy University (the school I'm going to now), he loves The Practice, he's an atheist, and really I could go on an on. He's so funny and easy to talk to. He seems great. And best of all, he actually wants a woman who's a skeptic. Ha. Perfect, right? I like him so far.

There are two guys that are mystifying me. Both of them said they would like to go out with me before I left for L.A. When I got back, one of them kind of mentioned it once but hasn't made any move to make any real plans. Then, another one called me on Wednesday and said he would call me later in the week when he knew what his plans were. Has he called me yet? Nope. Oh well. I'm not sweating it. I'm just going to chalk it up to "They're just not that into me." If they were, they would actually ask me out. Duh. Hey, I think I may actually be starting to figure men out. Go me.

Phone Actress Job - Day One

I started my phone actress job today. I'm actually working as I write this. Well. . . not literally. But I am "logged in" to the phone lines and I'm just waiting for my next phone call. I've had a lot of good phone calls tonight. And ig you're wandering what good means, it means that I've managed to keep them on the line for longer than 7 minutes. A couple of calls even lasted for ten minutes. Woo hoo. I recorded my greeting and I was very sexy. I do have a great phone voice. I had forgotten how disrespectful men could be though. I mean, when the call is basically done I wish they would at least say goodbye. Most of them just hang up, so I don't even know that they're gone until I hear dead space. Don't they realize that there is a person on the other end of the phone? Oy. Oh well, extra money hopefully. If I make my quota of calls. . . and keep all the guys on the phone long enough. I actually just got off the phone with a guy where I forgot his name. Oops. I was doing my thing and all the names just run together, so I forgot it. Luckily, the call ended about thirty seconds later so it didn't matter.

I spoke to the woman from Partnership Against Domestic Violence today. I go to training on September 10th and I'm going to start volunteering right away after that. I'm excited about that.

Other than working as a phone actress yet again, my day has been pretty uneventful. My life is so boring right now.

Blah

It's been one of those days. I'm tired, listless, and have no energy at all. I don't even have the energy to exercise. Now that's serious. I feel like I'm moving through quicksand. I feel like I've had to struggle for the energy just to eat or whatever. I think I'm depressed. Maybe it's the fact that I don't have a job, so I have nothing to do throughout the day. I did start looking up Spanish classes though and I'll start one in either mid-August or September. I also called the Partnership Against Domestic Violence to discuss volunteer opportunities. I left her a message, so I just have to wait for a call back regarding training. I'm also thinking about taking a quarter off of school to move to L.A. and immerse myself in the Spanish culture there. This was Cindy's idea. It would only be for a couple of months and I would stay with her. I was actually looking at the dates and deciding when would be the best time to do that. So I guess I have done stuff today that's semi-productive despite my listless state.

I have been hired once again as a phone actress. Yay. I have to decide when to start. I actually have to record a greeting for the callers. That's new. Didn't have to do that last time. It shouldn't be too hard, but I wasn't feeling particularly creative or sexy today. I guess I'll use the same name I used before. Oy.

I don't think men realize how hard it is for women to be in the dating pool. Much harder than it is for them. I received an interesting e-mail from a guy on match.com. I IM'd him on yahoo instant messenger like he said I could. We were chatting for 30 seconds (I swear) when he started talking about sex. And I'm not talking subtle either. . . . this was just plain vulgar. I'm not a prude (obviously), but isn't it a little too soon for that? Maybe he didn't get the memo, but I'm not really in it just to get laid. If that was all I wanted, I have people that I can call. But I want a little more than that, which is why I want to actually take it slow for once. I know. So not like me. Seth even laughed at that one. I know dating is exhausting, but I have to keep chugging along. I'm like the little engine that could.

Family Drama

Today, I decided to skip my sister's birthday celebration. Why? Because I just didn't want to go. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to make plans at the last minute, but I called Seth when I woke up and luckily he was free. We decided to meet at the Mall of Georgia to see a movie and have lunch together. We saw "Must Love Dogs," which was so funny. Got a little cheesy at the end but other than that it was a good movie.

Later, I called my grandmother and she wanted to know why I wasn't at the lunch. I told her that I had plans. She said that Jenifer gave them a completely different story about what happened when I asked her to pick me up from the airport (big surprise). She told them that she had told me she just didn't want to come pick me up because she wasn't comfortable driving on the interstate and she had never really done it. That whole thing is just crap. Jenifer lied (as usual). I told my grandmother that I wasn't planning on talking to my sister anymore because there really was no need.

Here's my thing. Family is just a matter of biology. It's like a hand of poker. Sometimes you're lucky and you get a good hand and other times. . . not so much. I think that if there are people in your life who don't care about you and who don't do anything but hurt you, then you shouldn't be around them. A lot of my friends know most of the history surrounding why I don't speak to my mother (if not all), so they completely undertstand why I wouldn't want to have anything to do with her. My family knows the history too, but because she gave birth to me, I'm supposed to ignore everything. I don't quite work that way. If she were a friend who had done the things that she has done, no one would question my reasons for cutting her out of my life. But because she was stupid enough to have a baby at 19, I have to put up with all the crap that she has dished out. The same goes for my sister because she has been the same way.

Family is an accident of biology and sometimes you're one of the lucky ones and you appreciate the accident. I do have a couple of family members that I can count on. However, I have friends that I consider family to me. I don't think that you have to be related by blood to be family. Jenifer thinks you do. . . but then again, she's an idiot. I fully intend to adopt when I have kids. I have my reasons for not wanting to have a child "naturally." Even if a person doesn't have reasons, I think people should consider adoption. There are so many orphans in the world and it's overpopulated enough. Whenever I tell someone I'm going to adopt, I dread the question, "Why wouldn't you want to have any kids of your own?" When I adopt, it will be my child. Pregnancy won't make it any more special. Besides, Cindy pointed out to me all the work that is involved with adoption. You have to go through background checks, interviews, you have to fly across the world to get your child. So you have to fight for your child. That makes it your own. To me, that's a lot more special than a natural pregnancy. I mean, how many brain cells does it take to fertilize the sperm and the egg? About as many brain cells as it takes to forget a condom. Seriously.

Sorry for the long ramble today, but this whole family drama thing just irritated me. But I won't let it irritate me anymore. There's no point. Thanks for listening.

Crazy Days

Well, it has been an extremely eventful couple of days. Actually. . . insane is a little more like it. Wednesday was a very relaxing day at least. We all slept in very late and took our time getting dressed for the first time during our entire vacation. We were starving by the time we got dressed, so Cindy took us to this great place called Pho 99. I had this great stir-fry and the egg rolls and spring rolls were soooo good. Really, Cindy had yet to take us to a bad restaurant. It would be so easy to gain weight here. Of course, if I lived here I would not eat like this every day. After lunch, we went back to the hotel to hang out by the pool and work on our tans. We all were very tan on our arms and faces, but we still had work to do on the rest of our bodies. We played and laughed and just laid by the pool until the last drop of sunshine could be used. I will definitely have a nice tan when I go home. . . as well as a million new freckles. Oy, damn freckles.

I also tried to get a ride from the airport when I got home. My sister came up with some lame excuse about how she had to take Mom to the doctor, but she didn't know what time the appointment was because Mom forgot. So she would have to call the doctor tomorrow and ask what time the appointment was. The entire excuse was a load of crap and I told her as much. My sister replied, "F**k you." and hung up on me. She then called me back and left me a voice mail. She said that she just didn't want to pick me up and she wasn't committed to anything. She then complained that I don't come visit Conner (my nephew) enough. It always comes back to her. I actually have obligations, which is why I can't see him as often as I would like. But if that's the reason she won't come pick me up, then fine. Talk about unreliable. I hate some members of my family. Whatever. I'll find someone else.

Then it was time to go to dinner and celebrate Luke's birthday. . . well, almost birthday anyway. We went to a steak house called Claim Jumper, where they seem to have realized something very important. Size really does matter. No, really. The portions of food were huge. They had slices of cake in the display case that were as big as your head. Cookies were the size of baseballs. It was insane. . . but so delicious. I presented Luke with his present of Ben Bova books. Shopping for him wasn't really hard since I read his blog and he's been giving hints about what he wants for weeks. Silly Luke. After Claim Jumper, the night was still young. We were going to go to a movie, but decided to meet up with Cindy's friend David for a drink instead. We also went to the Hustler store (as per my request). Everything was too expensive, but it was fun browsing the store. I love stores like that. Then we headed to the bar that was conveniently located a block from our hotel (also Cindy's favorite hangout). As it turns out, they were also doing karaoke. Sweet. Cindy and I drank way too much and we all sang our little hearts out. Luke was the only one not singing, but he took plenty of pictures and video of the event. I had a lot of fun drinking, singing (way off-key, mind-you), and dancing around the bar. I had several drinks and then the bartenders kept giving us shots of stuff. I didn't know what they were and I didn't ask. None of us did; we just toasted and drank up. WE had to leave at 2 am because it was closing time. We stumbled home. And I mean that literally because Luke had to help me stay up. I haven't been that drunk in a while. But it was fun. We didn't go to bed until 3 am, which was a shame since we had to be up at 4:30 to leave for the airport at 5.

Well. . . we kind of overslept. Apparently, Luke had heard the alarm and turned it off before going back to sleep. So we didn't wake up until 6:30 and my flight was leaving at 7:20. Super. I got ready in 30 seconds and we were off. However, made it to the airport just after the plane left. Damn. I went ahead and checked my bag and got put on the standby list for the 10:15 flight. Cindy was kind enough to buy Luke and me breakfast at the airport before they had to leave. Yeah, I was unable to get on that flight. No seats available. So I got put on standby for the 12:38 flight. Once again. . . no luck. Well, the next flight out was not until 9:55 that night. I went ahead and got put on the standby list. I contacted Cindy to let her know and she came to pick me up at the airport. I mean, there really was no sense in me hanging around there. Cindy suggested that maybe I just find the next available open flight and get a guaranteed seat on that instead of just being on standby and hanging around the airport forever. She had a point. So I called Airtran to make the arrangements. They told me that, for the 9:55 flight, 5 people would have to miss their flight for me to get a seat on it. Yeah. . . what were the chances of that? The man on the phone was very nice and he said that the next open flight was on Saturday (I could deal with that). There wasn't even any added cost to me since it was a flight change.

So Cindy and I were roomies again (Yay). Of course my luggage was in Atlanta without me, but that was okay. And as Cindy pointed out, there were worse places to be stuck than L.A. Ha. You got that right. Since I just had my carry-on, I had nothing with me. So we just went to the grocery store and bought a toothbrush and some deodorant and I was set. We went back to Cindy's place and we both took a nap. We were exhausted. . . it had been a long day for both of us. Then we went to dinner at this Thai place near Cindy's apartment. I had already eaten there once this week, but the food is so good that I was glad to eat there. Then we went home and relaxed by watching this show that Cindy had on DVD called, "Strangers with Candy." It's a really funny TV series about a 46-year-old high school freshman. Craziness. Cindy and I pretty much crashed about 10:30 or so.

I slept sooo late on Friday. I kept waking up, but then I would just go back to sleep and I didn't wake up for good until 11:30. That's 13 hours of sleep or something, so I must have been wiped. Cindy called shortly after I woke up and asked if I wanted to meet her for lunch (she was at work) to have Persian food. Was I really going to turn that down. I got her directions on how to get there, showered and dressed, and prepared for my bus journey. It was interesting taking the bus downtown by myself. I thought I would get lost. I actually had to take 2 buses to get to Cindy and it took about an hour. I did not get lost, either. Cindy took me to a restaurant very close to where she worked and the food was delicious. I tried Cornish Game Hen for the first time and it was great. . . tasted just like chicken. :) Cindy and I had a great time just talking and having fun "girl time." It was nice having some fun time alone with her. After lunch, I took the long bus ride back home and watched some more "Strangers with Candy." Later, I just went outside and read a little since it was such a beautiful day. Cindy's friend David had called me earlier that day and asked if we wanted to go to a club with him for my last, last night in L.A. :) Sounded like fun. David is a cool guy. Cindy came home from work and we went searching for somewhere to eat dinner. We decided on Shaky's, a cool pizza place that I had never heard of. We had way too much pizza, chicken wings, and fried potato things. The food was very, very good. Cindy, meanwhile, decided she really didn't want to do the club thing. She was exhausted and just wanted to rest. Even though I would have liked to go out dancing and drinking with David, I decided to stay home with Cindy. We rarely ever got to see each other and I wanted to spend time with her.

Cindy and I decided to head to the bookstore after dinner. We went to Border's so that we could both get a Spanish-English dictionary. We actually browsed the foreign language section for a while so that Cindy could make her selection. I made mine fairly quickly. Finally, we were ready and we left. Cindy mentioned that she was glad I stayed the extra day. She said it was just like it used to be when we were in college and we would go out to dinner together and then do other stuff together late. We always have fun together. We went home, watched more "Strangers with Candy," and then fell asleep.

Dos: Look at my hair. It's hardly grown at all.
Me: Yeah, my hair grows really fast. There's already a difference since I visited Luke in Rochester. By the end of the summer, who knows where it'll be?
Dos: Probably under some guy's elbow.

Today, Cindy was very kind and called me at 7:10 to make sure that I was awake. She had to work, but David was taking me to the airport. How sweet. My flight was leaving at 10:15 so David was picking me up at Cindy's at 8 so that I could get there by 9. I got there with no trouble, but the airport was mad busy. I was afraid that I would miss my flight. . . again. The line for Airtran was super long, but it did move kind of fast and luckily the agents were only handling the people in line that were on the 10:15 flight. That was probably because it was after 9 by that time and we still had security to get through. It didn't take me too long to get through the huge mob, but then there was a huge line of people waiting to show their ID's to security. Oy. Luckily, security took me two minutes to get through and I had enough time to grab something to eat (to eat on the plane of course) and I arrived at the gate about two minutes before they called my row for boarding. Whew. Is that timing or what? So I made it on the plane and the flight was uneventful.

When I arrived in Atlanta (finally), it didn't take me very long to find my lost luggage and then Dad was there to pick me up. He informed me that tomorrow, he is cooking for Jenifer's (my sister) birthday. Super. Can I just get a poll of people who think I should actually go to this thing? Seriously. I told him that I might have plans tomorrow. My sister doesn't care about me and she has made that abundantly clear. I'm not talking to her anymore. She is immature, irresponsible, and selfish. No one in this family is pushing her to grow up. She has a baby and she still has to ask for money for everything. You would think that would bother her. Hardly. Anyway, the thing is tomorrow at 2 and I think I need to find some plans and something else to do to get me out of the house. Fast.

Anyway, I receiver my stuff from Coca-Cola today. Yeah, my boss made sure to carefully wrap my Coca-Cola bottles so that they wouldn't break. Gee, how thoughtful. You would think that she would be bright enough to do the same thing for a picture that I had on my desk. But no. So now the frame is broken and there is glass all over the bottom of the box. Perfect. I'm thinking of ways to make extra money since I don't have a job and I still want my freedom. I'm thinking that I will go back to being a phone actress. Can't wait for that. . . actually, I can. I did enjoy it sometimes but I'm not sure if I'll enjoy it as a full-time thing. But I'll be doing other things, too. Who knows? All I know is that right now I am tired from a very long day and I need to relax a little. As Scarlett would say, I'll think about it tomorrow 'cause after all tomorrow is another day.

I am sooo moving here

The past couple of days have been a total roller coaster ride of fun and excitement. . . but without the vertigo and the nausea. Sunday, we picked Dos up from work and we were able to tour the veterinary clinic that she works at. She has such cute pets there. And she gets a ton of celebrities at her clinic. But she doesn't care about that. She just loves what she does and loves working with the animals. The only one she ever cared about meeting was Lindsey from "The Practice." That was our favorite TV show. Damn good TV.

After that, we went to my favorite Indian restaurant, Flavor of Indian. Last time we were here in December, I had asked them to make my chicken curry as spicy as they could make it and they didn't disappoint me! I had been craving curry for about three days. This time, I had lamb curry and again I asked them to make it really, really, really spicy. Actually, I didn't even have to ask because the waiter remembered me from December! That was too funny. It was quite spicy again, although they toned it down a little this time. It's probably a good thing because even though I could eat the curry last time, I still felt nauseous for about twelve hours. Damn good curry though. Cindy said the waiter probably wanted me and I said he was probably just impressed that I was the only white girl who could handle their spices. After dinner, we went shopping for some necessities and actually went for a midnight run to Del Taco. I haven't had that in years. I know it seems like all we do in L.A. is eat. . . but that's what L.A. is all about baby!

Monday we awoke bright and early to go to another hotel and board our bus to Mexico. . . or so we thought. Turns out we were supposed to meet the bus at 7:30, not 9:00 am as we thought. Doh. Luckily, we called the company and they allowed us to reschedule for Tuesday at the last minute. But oh what to do in the meantime?? We were running to catch a bus back to the hotel when I fell and scraped my knee. Doh again. But Dos said that I fell gracefully, almost like a princess. So that was comforting. I hobbled slowly back to the hotel to clean my knee and we decided to take a ferry to Catalina Island. Yay. I love last minute plans.

The ferry that we rode over was nice with plush seats. I slept a little on the ride over, but when I woke up I saw the most adorable little girl looking back at me from her seat. I played peek-a-boo with her a little and made her laugh. I swear, I wanted one of my own right then. . . even though I know I won't actually be ready to have one of my own for several more years. I'm going to adopt anyway. Cindy, Luke,,and I have all discussed this. Cindy hates kids and doesn't plan on having them, but Luke and I both plan on adopting. Biology doesn't make a parent. The three of us are educated enough to know that. Plus, the fact that we all have at least one crappy parent helps. My reasons for adoption are personal, but I don't think adoption should be limited to those who are infertile or have genetic disorders.

When we got to the island, it was so beautiful. We took a scenic tour and a lot of the history was explained to us. There is a lot of history on that beautiful island. Next, we took a submarine six feet below the ocean to see some fish. . . and oh, did we ever see some fish. There were all kinds and shapes and colors. We actually did get a couple of semi-decent pictures. There were so many of them coming at us all at once and they were so beautiful. Now I know why The Little Mermaid was torn between her life under the sea and her prince. Hehe.

After the undersea tour, Dos and Luke wanted to go parasailing. However, this whole fear of heights thing kind of held me back. So I tanned myself on a bench instead. There was a guy totally wanted to ask me out. He was walking past me as I was walking to my bench and our eyes met and I swear, it was like a scene from a movie. Everyone else just faded away and it was instant heat. But alas, he was on the island and I was headed back to L.A. in a couple of hours. So it wasn't meant to be, I guess. Oh well. . . such is life. When Dos and Luke came back, we went looking for a snack and I should have known that Dos would find a bar. What the hell. . . I needed a drink. I had a drink called "Red-headed Slut" and she had a "Busty Brunette." I also had a "Horny Blonde" and I have to say that those two drinks were making me feel very tipsy. But as Luke pointed out, I hadn't had anything to eat in six hours. . . unless you count the Rocky Road ice cream cone Dos had bought me earlier (my favorite flavor next to Butter Pecan). I had to walk very carefully back to the boat.

When we got back to the mainland, of course the question was: what to have for dinner. We ate at this very cool diner, The Pantry. They don't have menus; all of their specials and menu items are on the walls. They also do not have any female servers. Any females working at the restaurant are cashiers. It may be a little out-dated, but the food was damn good. And the portions were huge. Then we came back to the hotel and slept. Ahhh . . . sleep.



Today, we awoke bright and early and made it to the hotel at the CORRECT time in order to board our bus to Tijuana. It took us roughly 3 hours to get there and the driver was kind enough to give us a map, telling us where the main street was where all the restaurants, bars, and shops were located. Mexico was so great. There was a pharmacy on every single block. . . actually, there were a LOT more than that. Seriously. Discount drugs here. Get your discount drugs here! Here. Everyone was outside their restaurant trying to get us to eat or drink with them. It was great. We decided against eating at Burger King, Dominoe's, or Carl's Jr. Really. . . we're going to go to Mexico and eat there? We actually ate at a Mexican restaurant the bus driver had recommended to us. It was very good and very authentic. But actually, I have had better guacamole. Other than that, everything was delicious. Then, we had to hurry back to where our bus was picking us up. . . but not before I bought some alcohol. And the only reason I bought any alcohol was because it was really cheap and because I wanted some Everclear. That stuff is illegal in about 47 states (maybe because it's 96% alcohol), so I definitely wanted to buy some and I got it for $6. Woo-hoo! After our wonderful day in Mexico, we spent several hours on a bus (customs was remarkably easy to get through) and FINALLY made it back to our hotel.

Dinner was at this great diner, Canter's. Hmmm. . . so good. I was in the mood for Claim Jumper, this other place that Cindy wanted to take me to. But alas, it was closed. Oh well.

Now, I have made a decision and decided to stay in L.A. for another day. My friends talked me into it and I will be getting in on Thursday in the middle of the day. The only problem I have now is finding someone to pick me up from the airport. I spoke to my sister today and she sounded very hesitant about it. She was making excuses and she didn't say no, but she didn't say yes either. God, she is so unreliable. Okay, when I say that blood family doesn't always mean anything. . . this is what I mean. This is one of those times that I wish I had a boyfriend. Even Robert was willing to pick me from the airport if I needed him to. All I know is that Dad better not send his stupid friend to pick me up, or as I like to call him. . . "Mistake Guy." He offered to pick me up before I left and I know what he wants. It's just an excuse. No thank you. I'll figure something out.