The Early Bird Special

I know it's been a while since my last post, but I've been a little busy. Not to mention sick. Thanksgiving weekend was good, although I had a horrible cold the entire holiday. Friday, I actually got up at 5 am to brave the crowds and take advantage of the specials. I went to Target and Wal-Mart. Let's just say that it was madness. Total and complete madness. I remember when I worked at K-Mart and had to work the day after Thanksgiving. I am so glad that I was on the other side of the counter this year. I came back to my grandmother's around 9 because that's when they wanted to go shopping. 5 am was a little early for them. Wimps. But before we could leave, something happened. My grandmother hit my car. My poor car. She busted one of my tail lights. She felt really bad about it. But she completely forgot that my car was in her driveway and when we were leaving, she didn't even look in her mirror and just ran right into it. She felt really bad about it, but I told her it was cool. At least this accident wasn't my fault.

We still went shopping after the accident. There were still awesome sales out there. I did get a couple things for myself (how could I resist?) and I also got a couple things for other people. By the end of the day though, I felt pretty miserable. My cold had escalated and my throat was so sore that I could barely speak. I also got a migraine on top of that. Nice, huh? But I went home with my grandmother and she took very good care of me. She gave me medicine and we had Thanksgiving leftovers for dinner. I enjoyed spending time with her. Saturday, I could barely speak (still), so I called in sick to the shelter and played hooky all day. That night, I did venture out to have Mexican food and see a movie with Seth. We saw "Rent." It was very good. It was moving, sad, funny, and inspirational. The music was awesome. I wouldn't mind seeing it again, but I don't think I'll go see it 8 times in the theatre like "Chicago."

I am getting so excited about Christmas. Even though I don't have a lot of money to spend on people this year, I love getting people stuff. I have been searching on Amazon.com and there are tons of DVD sets that I want. Very classic shows like Bewitched, Garfield, Heathcliff, and Looney Tunes. The only thing that's on my list for my parents are DVD's and a couple of books. If anyone else is wandering what I want, just go to my Amazon.com wishlist. :)

I just wish the weather would get colder. It's still near 60 degrees outside and that just isn't cold enough for the Christmas season dammit. Ahhh. . . that makes me miss Rochester. I'm sure it's freezing up there.

Ho Ho Ho

Wal-Mart is being very politically correct and they actually have a life-size African-American Santa Clause in the entrance. I think that's great. There used to be a white Santa there, but he's out and the new one is in. Who ever said that Santa Clause was white anyway?

The closer we get to Thanksgiving, the more I am actually getting in the Christmas spirit. I have also enjoyed several Christmas songs on the radio. I think I just had to get past the first week of November because that's just too damn early to be celebrating the holidays. I'm starting to think about what gifts I want to get for which people. I don't have a lot of money to spend, but I love giving people stuff. I now have three kids to buy presents for (one nephew and two godsons) and they are the best. I love shopping for kids. It's so fun to look at all the cool toys. Of course my nephew is about to turn a year old and I'm pretty sure I could give him a box and he would be ecstatic. Oh, how I wish I were that age again. So fun.

Another senseless blogger survey. . .

I've actually been meaning to do this one for a while, but I kept forgetting. Oh well. Better late than never.

10 Favorites:
Favorite Season: don’t have one; it’s whatever season we happen to be in
Favorite Sport: swimming (is that considered a sport? I’m not much of a sports person); but I do enjoy watching the Superbowl – the excitement over the game is just contagious
Favorite Time: middle of the day when I’m watching stupid reruns on TV
Favorite Month: September. . . the end of the heat wave in Georgia
Favorite Actor: don’t have one
Favorite Actress: don’t have one
Favoorite Ice Cream: Rocky Road or Butter Pecan
Favorite Food: Mexican food
Favorite Drink: sweet tea. . . but I can no longer drink it 
Favorite Place: Los Angeles

9 Currents:
Current Feeling: sick with a migraine
Current O/S: Windows Millenium
Current Windows Open: Yahoo e-mail, Yahoo Instant Messenger, and MS Word
Current Drink: water
Current Time: 8:55 pm
Current Mobile(s) Used: Verizon Wireless
Current Show on TV: Will and Grace
Current Thought: that I shouldn’t have just eaten all that junk food
Current Clothes: my Atheist T-shirt, my purple pajama pants, and my Bigfoot bedroom slippers

8 Firsts:
First Nickname: Reuder (given to me by my grandfather. . . don’t ask me what it means)
First Kiss: don’t remember
First Crush: don’t remember that one either
First Computer: I have no idea what model it was.
First Vehicle I drove: Pontiac Grand Prix
First Job: telemarketer
First Movie: Little Mermaid
First Pet: Precious, a beautiful white stray cat that we adopted from the Humane Society
First Shave: 13, I think

7 Lasts:
Last Chai (Tea) : I’ve never had one
Last Movie: In Her Shoes
Last Time I Drove: 8:00 tonight
Last Time Shaved: Tuesday
Last Web Site Visited: yahoo.com
Last Software Installed: an anti-spyware program for my computer
Last Pill I Had: an anti-nausea pill for my migraine earlier

6 Have You Evers:
Have You Ever Broken the Law: shoplifting when I was nine and a couple of speeding tickets
Have You Ever Been Drunk: a couple of times
Have You Ever Climbed a Tree: nope, too scared of heights
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: once
Have You Ever Been in the Middle/Close to Gunfire or Bomb Blast: no
Have You Ever Broken Anyone’s Heart: not that I know of; I don’t think that I’m the heartbreaker type

5 Things:
Things You Can Hear Right Now: just the TV and my dad’s stereo (it’s so loud!)
Things on Your Computer Table: grad school textbooks, scientology boook, and spanish/english dictionary
Things on Your Bed: blankets and pillows, my phone, and dirty clothes
Things You Ate Today: dry cereal, chocolate ice (so good), Slim Fast shake, and too much Taco Bell
Things in Mind: that I have too much to do and not enough time to do it in

4 Places You Have Been Today:
the kitchen
the living room
Taco Bell
My bedroom

3 People You Can Tell Anything To:
Kim
Seth
Dos

2. Choices:
Black or White: black (it’s very slimming)
Hot or Cold: cold

1 Thing You Want To Do Before You Die:
visit Europe

The Waiting Game

I have had two offers from two different guys in the last 24 hours to watch them on their webcam. One of them asked if I was horny and then immediately started begging me to watch him. The other one asked if I wanted to see him naked and then invited me to watch. That one has actually been trying to get me into bed for months. With this whole break from dating thing, I have been resisting him. I know he just wants sex though. He says he doesn't, but he never asks me an questions about myself, except for questions about sex. Gee, I'm sure he's just interested in my brain. With guys like this out there, is it any wonder I'm still single? But I'm feeling like maybe I'm turning into a prude for rejecting these guys. Seth said I'm lucky that guys want to show off on their webcams for me. Is that really luck? When all guys want from you is a good time, that's not really a good thing.

I have made an important decision regarding sex. I have decided that I'm going to remain abstinent until I fall in love and am with the guy that I plan to marry. Maybe that sounds weird considering the fact that I'm not religious. But I'm just tired of casual sex and of letting myself be used by the guys I go out with. I guess I am at the point in my life where I want something permanent. I used to be the type of person that didn't see anything wrong with a one-night stand or with having a "relationship" that was based entirely on sex. But I found myself actually considering meeting the guy who has been trying to get me into bed for months. I figured that if I had it in my head that it was based purely on sex, then maybe I could just use him until I meet someone more permanent. But the thought of that now makes my stomach turn. I guess that sounds prudish, but I'm not in the mood for that anymore. I had a strange dream last week. In the dream, I was having sex with someone. I'm not sure who it was, but I think it was someone I've had sex with before. I'm not really sure who though because the face was a little blurry. Anyway the guy and I are having sex and after he's done, he just gets up and says, "Thank you" and walks away. I think the dream is a sign that I'm tired of being used. As much as I may like sex (and believe me, I do), I think it's best that I wait. A little prudish and old-fashioned maybe. . . but still a good idea.

Winter Cleaning and a date

I am a total packrat. I didn't realize just how much trouble I have letting go of things until I started cleaning out my closet. My mission was to unpack my winter things, pack up some summer clothes, and figure out what I wanted to donate to the battered women's shelter. The women need clothes, especially winter ones. The children do as well, but seeing as I have no children I wouldn't be able to help with that one. My problem is that I looked at every single sweater and winter item as if it were my favorite article of clothing. I had a hard time deciding if certain clothes still looked good on me and deciding if I was actually ever going to wear any of the stuff. It was hard work. It would have been easier if someone were there to tell me for sure what looked good and what didn't. Of course, I had trouble letting go of the stuff I was sure I would never wear again because it just wasn't me. I managed to fill a couple of bags with winter clothes for the women at the shelter. Maybe I'll come up with some more. But I needed a break from the cleaning. It was very traumatic.

I had a nice date tonight with someone who was a joy to be with. Funny, sexy, charming, intelligent. Yes, I had a date with myself and I took myself to the movies. It was nice having some alone time in a theater with myself. I was great company. I saw "In her Shoes." The movie kind of irritated me. It wasn't nearly as good as the book. I hated the fact that the supposed overweight sister of the story was actually thin. I hated the fact that the character still complained about being fat, even though she was far from it. She was fat because she wasn't a size 2 like Cameron Diaz. She was like a size 9 or something. Ooooh. . . so fat. Stupid Hollywood writers.

This weekend, I actually got ten hours of sleep. Yeah, ten hours of sleep on Friday and ten more Saturday night. And it was uninterrupted. Yay. Maybe the insomnia has passed me over at last? I have to admit that last night's sleep was drug induced. I had a migraine and needed to take nausea medication. I had a drowsy pill and a non-drowsy pill. I purposefully took the drowsy pill so it would knock me out and I would get another good night's sleep. I guess we'll see tonight what my sleep is like. Wish me luck.

Insomnia

I am so frustrated by this whole insomnia thing. Last night, I had the worst night's sleep I've had in a while. It took forever to fall asleep and then when I did, I kept waking up throughout the night. I woke up at 4:30 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. I tossed and turned for about an hour before I gave up and got up to watch T.V. I did go back to sleep around 7:30, but I had to wake up at 9 for work. It was a very restless night. If anyone knows of a cure for insomnia or maybe a good pill that will help, please let me know. I've been dealing with this for about three months and it's getting beyond frustrating.

I'm also feeling very lethargic and irritable today. I actually just lay in bed for hours after I woke up because I had no energy to get out of bed. I counted the tiles on my ceiling. Is that the same as counting sheep? I don't feel like going to class today, but I played hooky on Monday so I have to go today. I just don't have the energy to go anywhere or do anything. Hopefully the rest of this week will past quickly so that I can lay in bed and count the tiles some more this weekend. Fun. Or maybe I'll see if Seth wants to come over. I need some distraction from stuff. Lord knows he makes me laugh.

The responsible one. . .

My sister is really driving me nuts. Working with her is just craziness. Last night, my mom calls me at 10:00 pm to ask me if I could cover my sister's shift TODAY during the morning because she has a doctor's appointment. First of all, my sister should not have gotten my mom to do her bidding and call me. She should have called me herself. According to mom, Jenifer had a migraine. I'm sure that was a lie. I told her that I had to be at the shelter this afternoon, but they assured me they would be back in time for me to leave. Second of all, I resent the fact that my sister waits until the last minute to ask me these things. I told my mom that I have a schedule too and she needs to check with me if she wants me to cover for her because I do have a life, too. Jenifer already scheduled a doctor's appointment for this Thursday and even though she's known about it for a month, she didn't bother to ask me about covering for her until a couple of days ago. It's just too bad on that day because I have Spanish class that morning. Dad is going to cover for her though, which I think he shouldn't do. Of course, it's interesting that Jenifer has two days off during the week and she can't bother to schedule her appointments on those days. I don't mind covering for her though. I do need the extra hours and the extra money. I just resent the fact that Jenifer doesn't think about the fact that I might not be able to cover for her. She just assumes that I'm going to drop everything to help her out. I can't always do that if others are counting on me as well. But I am the responsible sister. That is my lot in life. Look at me. I'm saying that like it's a bad thing. I just hate the way everyone else covers for her and makes excuses for her all the time. Annoying much?

My saga with health insurance continues. I may have to come up with $500 for my medications this month. Ugh. So stressful.

That's about all for today except for the fact that I'm feeling very blah and tired. And if someone says that they're going to do something with you, it would be really nice if they did it.

Bah Humbug

It's the second week of November and I am already beginning to hear the sound of Santa's reindeer. Shoot me now. I don't mean to sound like a scrooge. Really, I don't. But if I'm going to be listening to ten different versions of "The Christmas Song" or "Santa Clause is Coming to Town" for the next month and a half, then we're going to have a problem. As in, the sound of Christmas music will probably make me want to gouge out my ears by the time that December 25th finally gets here. The stores are also getting ready for the holidays by marketing all of their holiday goodies. Christmas colors galore! Is it my imagination or do the store gods start celebrating Christmas earlier and earlier every year? I guess it's just hard for me to get into the Christmas spirit until at least Thanksgiving. Before you know it, we'll be seeing wrapping paper, red and green bows, and stockings hanging on the shelves at Halloween. I think someone needs to put their foot down.

This has been a really hard year for me and I'm happy about the fact that it's almost over. I know that I have this thing for being optimistic and bouncing back remarkably well after crappy things happen (at least, according to Luke's blog tribute to me). It's been a little harder lately, but I think I've done a good job of bouncing back. Things are stressful and hard, but I'm feeling better about things. I've just decided to reevaluate things in my life. Things aren't as bad as they seem, even if I am stressed out and even if I still get depressed occasionally. Things aren't even that bad if I have to put up with a month and a half of non-stop Christmas music.

The danger of parking garages

I despise the parking garage at my school. Or maybe I should say that I hate the people that drive in them. People seem to think that regular driving rules do not apply when you're driving in one. For instance, I'm under the impression that a parking garage is like a road. You drive on the right side of the garage. I also think that you should not be driving 60 miles an hour in those things. I guess there are no speed limits in parking garages. I slow down when I enter the garage. I can't tell you how many times some idiot has come tearing around a corner in the garage and we've both had to practically slam on our brakes to keep from hitting each other. Not only is the other person often going about 40 or 50 miles an hour, but he or she is usually driving straight down the MIDDLE of the aisle. So that person has to move out of my way when he slows down to keep from hitting me. Then the person actually looks at me as if I'm the idiot. Seriously, what the hell is your hurry if it's the end of the day and you're leaving anyway?? Just take a second and slow down people! Those parking garages are a hazard and I swear someone is going to get in an accident one day. Knowing my luck, it'll probably be me.

I e-mailed my professor from my class that ended last week and I got an "A." Woo-hoo. I guess my perfect GPA is still intact. I'm trying to get with my advisor on a plan for next semester. I want to double up on classes next term, but I need her permission. Hopefully, I can finish my classes by the end of the summer and then I have my internship and then I'll be done. That will be great. I just need my advsisor's permission to double up. I'll be taking 2 classes a term (3 including my Spanish class) and it might get a little busy with volunteering and work, but whatever. I never back down from a challenge so it's all good. I'm very nervous about starting my internship, but at the same time I'm getting very excited. I can't wait! It feels good to be excited about things again.

Drama, drama

So apparently, Kim's asshole of an ex-boyfriend somehow found out my blog address and has been reading it for some time. Now he's going to use certain things that I've said about Kim against her. Whatever. He doesn't have a chance. He has done so much to Kim in the past that there is no way no one would give those kids to him. I was a little creeped out that he has been reading my blog. I think I know how he found out I even had one, but that's beside the point. If he finds my life so fascinating that he has to know what's going on, then that's his business. Dave is just a controlling asshole who doesn't care about anyone but himself. If he really thinks this crap is going to get her back, he's even stupider than I thought. But she says she's not going to go back to him.

Anyway, big news. My sister's wedding is off. Not really a surprise. She broke up with the guy. I didn't expect it to last, but I guess I did expect them to at least have a wedding. She got into a big fight with her future mother-in-law and I guess her fiancee didn't make her apologize to my sister. So that's the end of that. Frankly, I think that's kind of a stupid reason to break up with someone if you're really in love. But let's face it, they have only been together for about two months so it wasn't really love. I'm thinking there were deeper issues. I think that my sister did not want my mom to move out (which she was going to do after the wedding) because that would mean my sister would be pretty much on her own financially. Now that the wedding is off, Jenifer probably doesn't have to worry about that. Maybe it was subconscious or maybe it was a conscious thing. Who knows? I just think that may have played a part in it. I'm just a psych major so I'm always psychoanalyzing.