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Okay, so it's been a while since my last post. I honestly haven't been in the mood to write at all. Lately, I've been feeling kind of. . . . depressed. And when I say kind of, I mean really depressed. Last weekend, I did not have the energy to get out of bed. I didn't want to do anything by lay in bed and stare at the TV. That's pretty much what I did. It's been kind of hard trying to get myself out of this mood. I know that I have a lot of things that I should be grateful for, and I am. Don't get me wrong. But for some reason, I've been feeling a massive amount of sadness for no reason at all. There are actually a couple of issues that I'm struggling with right now. I don't really want to talk about them yet because they are kind of personal. Those issues are factoring into this whole depression thing. I think it's frustrating for Boy Wonder because he has no idea how to help me and he just wants to make it better. He's a guy so he just wants to know how he can fix it. Of course he can't fix it. No one can really.
I did start seeing a therapist this week, so maybe that will help. She is so nice and I feel really comfortable with her. I have to admit that it's a little disconcerting to be on the other end of the couch, so to speak. I'm so used to expecting my clients to open up and reveal their deepest feelings and gain all this insight into their lives. Now I'm expected to do the same thing by someone else. I feel a little weird admitting that I'm a counselor who's going into counseling. I think some people expect us to be perfect and to never have any feelings or problems of their own. I know that I'm not perfect and it's a lot better to deal with my issues than to avoid them. I can't really lecture my own clients about why they shouldn't avoid dealing with their issues if I'm just doing the opposite of that.
I am getting more excited about the fact that school is almost over. My very last class ends in June. I finish my internship in October and I graduate in December. Woo-hoo! I am nervous and so excited about that. I'll be glad when classes end because right now, it seems like I'm running at 100 miles an hour. It'll be nice to slow down a little and take some "me"time.
I did start seeing a therapist this week, so maybe that will help. She is so nice and I feel really comfortable with her. I have to admit that it's a little disconcerting to be on the other end of the couch, so to speak. I'm so used to expecting my clients to open up and reveal their deepest feelings and gain all this insight into their lives. Now I'm expected to do the same thing by someone else. I feel a little weird admitting that I'm a counselor who's going into counseling. I think some people expect us to be perfect and to never have any feelings or problems of their own. I know that I'm not perfect and it's a lot better to deal with my issues than to avoid them. I can't really lecture my own clients about why they shouldn't avoid dealing with their issues if I'm just doing the opposite of that.
I am getting more excited about the fact that school is almost over. My very last class ends in June. I finish my internship in October and I graduate in December. Woo-hoo! I am nervous and so excited about that. I'll be glad when classes end because right now, it seems like I'm running at 100 miles an hour. It'll be nice to slow down a little and take some "me"time.
4 Comments:
I know how you feel. Sometimes all you can do is take care of yourself. My husband always wants to fix things for me too.
Where oh where has my Cynthia gone?
Miss you like a Georgia Peach!
Miss you girl! At least drop in and say hello. You don't have to drop us any details if it causes problems on the home front. We're your "people"; we understand!
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