Expecting the worst

I am so bad at this relationship thing. Seriously, I feel like a horrible girlfriend. It's not that I've really done anything, per se. I am just the type of person who is always expecting the worst out of people. I don't think I was always this way. It kind of just happened. I am just sitting around, waiting for Boy Wonder to screw up or stop loving me or something. I don't tell him that; it's just always there in the back of my mind.

He's been out of town for almost a week now and it's harder than I thought to be away from him this long. It's not like I'm one of those annoying women who have to spend every second with their boyfriend. Believe me, I'm not. I do have a life aside from just him. Last week, I was fine without him. I worked and hung out with friends. Whatever, I did my thing. I guess I didn't really start to miss him until this past weekend. Because I expect the worst, I start looking for signs that he's forgetting about me or that I'm not a priority. Like if he doesn't call me enough. Or if he can only talk for five minutes. I am trying to cut him some slack though. He's pretty much on his feet from 7 in the morning until 6 at night working. He does call me every day. He sends me text messages or emails sometimes just to say that he loves me. I'm just greedy so I always want more. I don't want to make him feel bad for not being able to talk to me more. I know he loves me (lord knows he tells me often enough) and I know he misses me. I just wish I could stop this crazy paranoia that he's going to leave me. If he hasn't yet, chances are he isn't going to. Seriously, not many men could deal with the possibility of having my sister as an in-law. But he takes it in stride.

Anyway, change of subject. Tomorrow, I start my internship. I am really excited and a little nervous as well. I guess that's to be expected, right? I can't wait to delve into the exciting world of counseling sex offenders. For nineteen hours a week, three days a week, for the next ten months, that is what I'll be doing. Oh, and this will be unpaid. The joys of grad school. Oh well. I'm hoping that I absolutely love it and if I do, I'm hoping they'll love me enough to hire me. That would rock. So far, Boy Wonder is just about the only person in my life who hasn't made me feel like a complete idiot for wanting to do this. He also thinks I might actually be good at this. He has so much faith in me and I love him for that. This week will be the easy part. This week will involve me learning the ropes and shadowing other counselors during their sessions. Next week will be the tough part. Next week will be when I get my own caseload and start seeing clients on my own. They are throwing me to the wolves. Literally.

Happy New Year!

Hope everyone had a great holiday. Mine was pretty fantabulous. Boy Wonder was sick during the holidays and that sucked. He did give me a very pretty necklace for Christmas. He also ordered me something online, but it still hasn't gotten here yet. Long story. Damn UPS. We spent time with my family and I worked a lot at the shelter. I got a lot of cookbooks (seriously, I still haven't had a chance to go through them all), I got a slow cooker (didn't ask for it, but I had wanted one), and I got some DVDs that I had wanted, along with some gift cards. I also got a Bundt pan and I have already made a cake in it. I made a triple chocolate gingerbread cake in it and it turned out soooo good. I was so proud of myself. First cake I baked by myself and it was great.

Boy Wonder and I spent some time in Alabama right after Christmas. That was a nice break. His family is great and I met so many more of his family members. There were tons of aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. And there was a deep fried turkey. Yummy. His family had a few gifts for me, which was nice of them. We ate at this seafood restaurant that has the BEST hush puppies EVER. Boy Wonder got a gift card for a sporting good store in Alabama. On our way back to Georgia, we stopped at the store and Boy Wonder was nice enough to use his card to buy me some new tennis shoes. Awww. . . wasn't that sweet of him? Mine were kind of run down and I've been needing some new shoes. Luckily, Boy Wonder was feeling better by the time we got back so we could make up for lost him in the bedroom. Hehe. Between my illness and his, it's been hell on our sex life. Ha.

We didn't really want to do anything that special for New Year's. Being together was special enough (cue gagging noise here). We just went out to dinner to this Mexican restaurant that is awesome and we hadn't been there in a while. You know, I never considered that shrimp enchiladas would be a tasty dish, but they were awesome. I was so tired that I barely made it to midnight. Actually, Boy Wonder had to wake me up eight minutes before midnight. Then, we celebrated the new year very nicely. Sweet. Monday was a lazy day for both of us. We really needed the sleep. That night, he took me to Emeril's restaurant. It was sooo good. And I got my usual buzz from one glass of wine. It wasn't a strong buzz, but nevertheless it was there. Now, I am working the overnight at the shelter (again) and Boy Wonder is in Alabama for business. He left today and he doesn't come back until next Thursday or Friday. Sucks major. I'll miss him, but oh well. Life goes on.