The Big "L"

Things have been a bit crazy lately. I've been working some extra shifts at the shelter. They have been a bit short-staffed and the extra money is always nice. I have been pretty miserable this week because Boy Wonder is out of town. I know, I know. . . please shoot me. I have become one of those women that I hate. I have been sulking and miserable because my boyfriend is out of town. Maybe it's just because our relationship is still so new. It's not like I've been sitting around waiting for him to call (which he HAS done quite often, by the way). I've worked my extra shifts, I've managed to work out a little, I caught up on some cleaning and some TV, and I even had dinner with an old friend last night. I guess I just feel like a part of me is missing because he isn't here with me. I know that sounds cheesy and corny, but I can't help it.

I think the big "L" word is coming. He's hinted at how he feels several times this week. I think he's just waiting till he can say it in person. Or maybe he's just waiting for the right time. I think it just hit me this week just how much he means to me. I wasn't even sure at first if I felt the same way, but now I'm just going to say it. Okay, so I love him. There. Whew, that feels so much better. Now I just have to say it out loud and to him. That will come. No rush. I know this seems so fast and a part of me is scared by that. But then the rest of me knows that nothing has ever felt this right. Ever. So who cares if this has happened so incredibly fast? There's no set timetable for when two people should fall in love, is there? We've been discussing marriage and what we should name our kids. There's so much laughter and happiness and it's just crazy.

I have to admit that I wasn't sure I was in love with him at first. But being without him this week has made me realize how much he means to me. Every time he calls me, I feel so incredibly happy. I can't wait until I can see him again. When I think of the future, I don't think in terms of "I" anymore. I think in terms of "we." He knows that I don't want to live in Georgia for the rest of my life and he's okay with that. I'm thinking I don't want to drag him to some city where he's going to be miserable for the rest of his life. I'm even willing to give up L.A. Now that's love. Am I crazy for feeling this much this fast? I didn't think it was possible to feel this much for someone this fast. But I guess when it's right, it's right. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy it. I'm just so damn happy.