Before and After

This post is just a tribute to all the progress that I have made in the last year and a half with my weight loss. Above are before and after shots of my progress. The first picture was taken while I was attending the University of Rochester in the spring of 2003. The picture below that was taken during a trip to L.A. about two months ago.

Yesterday, my grandmother and I went to visit with this friend of hers, Frances. Frances is very nice and everything. There's only one problem. Every single time I see her, she comments on all the weight that I've lost and says how great I look. I know what you're asking yourself: What's the problem, right? Well, the problem is that I don't always want to be known as "The girl who used to be fat." I'd like to be known as more than just that. Every time Frances talks to me on the phone, she asks me, "So you still keeping that weight off?" That's a problem too. Those comments make me nervous. Anyone who used to be overweight can tell you that it is a constant struggle to maintain your weight loss. Once you go from fat to skinny, you don't want to go back.

I am proud of the fact that I've lost so much weight. I love myself now. I just think that people should appreciate me more than just for how flat my stomach is. Personally, I never really thought of myself as fat. Overweight, yes. Fat. . . not really. My grandmother jokes and says that I was fat "in a funny way." I don't know what that means. You see the pictures above. You be the judge of whether I was fat or not.

I saw an interesting Dr. Phil episode yesterday about how attractive people are treated better in society. Studies even show that taller people make more money. Interesting. Of course, attractive people are treated better. People like pretty, thin people. There was a woman on there who treated one daughter better than the other because she was much more attractive. She was embarrassed to be seen with her own daughter because she was overweight. Of course her daughter is 7 and she will give her 2 hamburgers for dinner, while she gives the "pretty" one only one hamburger. But according to her, she has no responsibility for her daughter's weight problem. Her daughter also has this skin disease that gives her a kind of rash on her arms and stuff. I think that her mother is ashamed of having an unattractive daughter and her daughter sees this, so she comforts herself with food and thus, becomes overweight. Dr. Phil apparently agreed. I guess it isn't tough to analyze that one. I know what it's like to comfort yourself with food anyway.

There was another guest on the show who would only let her kids play with other pretty kids. She even told her child that she couldn't play with another child whose mom was fat because "she's not our kind." And you know what the best part was? The mom saying this was overweight herself! How can you be that shallow? She wanted to ask Dr. Phil how she could stop herself from doing stuff like that. His response? STOP DOING IT! I think she thought that he would blame it on her mother or something and that there would be some deep, dark reason for her behavior. He said that wasn't the case and it was a conscious choice. Good for him.

I wish we didn't live in a society that focused so much on looks and so little on what's inside. But as I say this, I'm still worried about gaining a few extra pounds or getting out of shape again. I still worry that I'm not unattractive enough. It's hypocrisy, I know. But I can't help it. I do want to say that I am proud of how far I've come because in my case, it is healthier that I be 50 pounds lighter. I feel great and yes, I am proud to say that I look great. So I'm shallow. Sue me.