Thoughts

I had a thought. Yes, I know. . . I have many thoughts. Sometimes way too many. This is why I like it when I go into my "zone" because my zone is a place where thoughts are nonexistent. Anyway, back to my thought. Dating is pretty much the most exhausting thing a person can do. It's hard work. I think I was actually having this revelation as I was pounding away on my treadmill, sweating more than I remember sweating in a long time and listening to Rob Thomas's song on the radio, "This is how a heart breaks." Maybe I was even thinking of Robert. I know what you're all thinking. Him again.

I don't think my heart was exactly broken yesterday. I was just a little tired and fed up with the whole game, I think. So after three days of not hearing from Adam, I finally heard from in a "Closed" message on eharmony. His reason that he chose was that he was pursuing another relationship. Fine. Not a surprise that things didn't work out with him and I'm not heartbroken. We only had one date and he's just one more guy who couldn't appreciate the wonder and the beauty that is me, right? But of course. I just immediately went to take out my frustrations on my treadmill. Poor thing. Actually, my poor legs. They are very sore right now because I haven't worked them that hard in a while. Dating is just one big merry-go-round of uncertainty and confusion and heartache. I wish I could just stop but I have this stupid need to be married eventually. Ugh. Those of you out there who are already married or involved don't know how lucky you are. Yes Laura, I am talking to you. Some of us aren't lucky enough to find the one that we're supposed to be with when we're 16.

I think I'm just tired and need a vacation, so if I seem down that's all it is. I have other guys that I'm talking to on eharmony though. . . guys that I'll go out with when I get back from my glorious vacation on L.A. Eventually I'll find one that sticks. Yesterday I told myself that it would be a good day and that kind of blew up in my face. I had many customers who irritated the crap out of me. I did use my stress ball thing that I got at my stress management seminar the other day and that helped a little. Then I went to Chick-fil-A to get a sandwich and to McDonald's to get a Fruit and Walnut Salad. I received bad service at both of them and McDonald's actually forgot the walnuts for my salad. Seriously, that's the most important part.

But my professor in my class did give us all 8 of our essay topics that were going to be on our test and we're only going to have to pick 4 to do on the test. So I know what to study for those. And he already gave us a whole list of key terms to study for the multiple choice section, so he practically handed the test to us. I'm sure I will do fine.

Luke said in his blog yesterday that he was glad that I was happy. Don't worry Luke. I'm not unhappy. I'm just tired and need to get away. I will not tell myself what I told myself at the beginning of yesterday. It doesn't work. I'm just going to hope for the best. And tomorrow, I get to see Seth. . . my best friend in the entire world! I haven't seen him in weeks. I am sooo excited!!