Goodbyes
I'm going to take a break from discussing my wonderful dating journey to discuss something a bit more serious. I have just been dumped by my best friend. Kim, my best friend of six years, has decided that she does not want to be friends with me anymore. This, and the reasons behind it, have come as a big surprise.
Kim and I did get into an argument a couple of weeks ago, but apparently this is not the reason for this decision. The argument was apparently a misunderstanding anyway. I had told her that I would be busy for the next couple of weeks, which was not a lie. I have taken on an extra class this session and these last couple of weeks have been a bit crazy for me. I have had a couple of papers (including a ten page research paper), a debate to work on, a final, an interview project to work on, and I have also worked a couple of double shifts. The email that she sent me on Friday was sarcastic, mean, and insulting, which is extremely hurtful considering how long we have been friends. I feel like I deserved better. She told me that she could not be friends with me anymore because of how busy I have been. That's right, I am too busy to call or go out with her so she doesn't want to be friends anymore. She said that busy people make time for the people who are important to them. She said that she obviously is not important to me because I don't call to make plans and because I just have too much going on.
I can't believe she would throw away a friendship because of this. I have gone weeks without talking to Seth and months without talking to Cindy before because of how busy everyone gets. Not once do any of us doubt our friendship because of it. On one hand, I feel guilty. But on the other hand, I feel like if she were really my friend, she would have understood that sometimes school comes first. It has to. It doesn't mean my friends are any less important to me. But right now, with my two jobs and grad school, I can't always be as social as I would like. Is that wrong? I'm working towards a goal that's very important and if I have a ton of papers and projects, what am I supposed to do?
It just seems hard to believe that it's over. We have been through a lot together, some good, some bad. It's funny because in the last few years she has done so many things to me that have really made me question how important I was to her. But I stuck it through. That was just the loyalty I felt for our friendship. I guess she did not feel the same loyalty. I really don't know what to make or feel about this. I feel hurt and angry and so many other things. I'm even more hurt that she couldn't send me a calm email explaining how she felt before making this decision. I'm hurt that she would write the email in such a manner as to be insulting and to try to make me feel guilty. I think that I deserved better.
Kim and I did get into an argument a couple of weeks ago, but apparently this is not the reason for this decision. The argument was apparently a misunderstanding anyway. I had told her that I would be busy for the next couple of weeks, which was not a lie. I have taken on an extra class this session and these last couple of weeks have been a bit crazy for me. I have had a couple of papers (including a ten page research paper), a debate to work on, a final, an interview project to work on, and I have also worked a couple of double shifts. The email that she sent me on Friday was sarcastic, mean, and insulting, which is extremely hurtful considering how long we have been friends. I feel like I deserved better. She told me that she could not be friends with me anymore because of how busy I have been. That's right, I am too busy to call or go out with her so she doesn't want to be friends anymore. She said that busy people make time for the people who are important to them. She said that she obviously is not important to me because I don't call to make plans and because I just have too much going on.
I can't believe she would throw away a friendship because of this. I have gone weeks without talking to Seth and months without talking to Cindy before because of how busy everyone gets. Not once do any of us doubt our friendship because of it. On one hand, I feel guilty. But on the other hand, I feel like if she were really my friend, she would have understood that sometimes school comes first. It has to. It doesn't mean my friends are any less important to me. But right now, with my two jobs and grad school, I can't always be as social as I would like. Is that wrong? I'm working towards a goal that's very important and if I have a ton of papers and projects, what am I supposed to do?
It just seems hard to believe that it's over. We have been through a lot together, some good, some bad. It's funny because in the last few years she has done so many things to me that have really made me question how important I was to her. But I stuck it through. That was just the loyalty I felt for our friendship. I guess she did not feel the same loyalty. I really don't know what to make or feel about this. I feel hurt and angry and so many other things. I'm even more hurt that she couldn't send me a calm email explaining how she felt before making this decision. I'm hurt that she would write the email in such a manner as to be insulting and to try to make me feel guilty. I think that I deserved better.
2 Comments:
I hate to say it, but it sounds to me like she is being selfish and that she was looking for an excuse to "dump" your friendship.
She also is probably more high maintenance than your other friends you mentioned. I think a true friend would stick by you and understand what you are going through. A friendship is a two way street, and she could easily call or drop an email as well.
But a break-up is hard, whether it is a friend or a romantic relationship. In the long run, you might find you are better off though.
Boooooo. She is being selfish. It's a shame.. I know how much she meant to you. Love you, still, though. And we've gone months without talking.. doesn't mean I would dump you.
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